I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize