Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize