If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize