Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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