Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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