wakey wakey hands off snakey
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize