Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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