I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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