Christians are straight up FREAKS
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize