I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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