smell my finger.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize