STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize