If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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