He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize