His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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