clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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