This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize