i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize