i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize