Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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