i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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