All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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