Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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