I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
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I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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