i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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