OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize