hell yes lets make some ravioli
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize