i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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