literally had 100 drinks last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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