so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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