I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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