WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize