She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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