last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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