i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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