He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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