I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize