Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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