So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize