That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize