how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize