Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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