Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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