were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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