oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize