I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
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Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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