He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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