TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize