please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize