the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize